Recently, after speaking at a seminar, one of the participants approached me and asked how I manage to keep it all together in my marriage. I looked at the beautiful woman, and I shared that I am still learning how to. However, there are two things my hubby and I do that calm us daily and help us:

1. We always pray together daily.
2. We never leave the house without hugging and kissing each other.

No matter what time of the morning it is, or the circumstances we’re in – even if one of us (usually me) is still battling with yesterday’s discussion – once we are up, we pray together and, when it is time for one of us to leave the house, we drop everything else and hug and kiss each other.

In my line of work, I have realized that these two simple acts of love constitute an activity called “grounding.” These acts of love help marriages to remain intact. They help to fortify and strengthen a couple’s love for each other. In the midst of praying together, and hugging and kissing each other, yesterday’s banter is forgotten, and one is simply grateful to God for another day to love each other.

So, what do you do to ground yourself in your marriage? How do you keep it all together? How do you fortify your marriage walls and make them impenetrable to unforgiveness, resentment, anger and temptation? You could engage in a daily prayer meeting with your spouse, even for just 10 minutes. You could commit to a once-a-week fast devoted to strengthening your marriage, or you could text each other to check up on each other at work. Whatever you do, do it in love. Make sure you are working on your marriage. Make sure you are sowing seeds and setting an excellent example for your children to follow.

Much Love
Ibukun

I am the type of mom who screams at my kids’ games. At my daughter’s volleyball practices or my son’s soccer practices, you will hear me encouraging them, shouting, “You go, girl!” or “You can do it, boy!” Even at their graduation, you could hear me saying loudly, “That’s my girl,” when each of them went up to receive their certificates.

I am not shy. I am a certified eternal encourager. However, on one particular Sunday, I was at my son’s soccer practice, and I noticed that my boy was not pulling his usual stunts. I still encouraged him by saying my usual words: “You go, boy! Grab the ball! Score that goal!!!” He tried, but I realized he was mostly staying in the middle of the field. So, at the end of the game, I asked him what happened. There were so many opportunities for him to go and grab the ball, but he didn’t. I told him he was acting more like a midfielder instead of a striker. He looked at me, smiling, and said, “Mom… I was put in a position of a defender. I was supposed to defend my team.” Hmmm… that sank in and made sense.

So it is with life! There are rules in life. We have been positioned in this world to run a race and to do something. Some of us are here to counsel, while some are here to heal. Some are here to teach, while some are here to entertain. A lot of people will scream, wanting to discourage or even try to encourage us, but we need to be aware of our calling-our roles. We should refrain from being distracted by others.

Be self-aware. Know yourself and stay in your lane. Listen less to the crowd. Most people don’t know what you are going through; they do not know your story. Some may actually mean well when they scream at you. Thank them for it, but listen more to your Creator. Remain strong, and all will be well.

In His grace
Ibukun