My sweet husband took this picture. I was aware when he took it, but I never knew the impact the photo would eventually have on me. That day was the first day of my mother’s funeral event, and I was climbing the stairs to my parent’s home.

Only if the walls or stairs could talk, growing up – I had an excellent time and was spoiled a little bit by my parents; however, there was a period when my parents repeatedly lost a series of people in their lives. My two Aunties, an Uncle and a young cousin, died a few years apart, and as a teenager, I remember it was a time that made me so sad and upset. There was a time I was even ashamed to tell my friends about the losses. The pain of losing a loved one is real; however, the long-lasting negative impact could be devastating when it is more than once.

While growing up, I used to struggle with trust issues because I grew up not having healed from those losses. I refused to believe that people will be in one’s life forever, and that transcended to other things in my life. As a therapist, I started to work on myself; I engaged in a lot of self-correction and self-healing because I could see the trauma reflected in some of my decisions. Yes, I pray and fast, but I am still human. Am I completely healed? Almost but I am still a work in progress, and God is still busy healing me and letting me know that I can fully trust Him to recover from the pains of the past.

What is that trauma that you were exposed to? Could it be generational trauma that you can still see manifesting in some areas of your life? It could be acute, chronic or complex. For example, you might have been bullied as a kid or lost a few loved ones as I did, or been physically abused. Whatever you have been through, please, reach out for assistance. Some great trauma-informed therapists can fully assist you in being healed.

Back to the picture, that smile on my face says a lot; it tells of that girl who has received the loving support of various beings, from God to my husband to therapists like me and my loved ones. So please don’t suffer alone. Life is beautiful… let’s smile together.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

An incident occurred sometime last year, and it made me so sad and upset. It affected my self-esteem, and of course, I was bothered that I must have lost my sense of self-worth. However, as a psychotherapist, I had to practice what I preach. I had to embrace many relaxation techniques, positive words of affirmation, healing work, and spirituality. All of these helped restore healing, and I was able to bounce back from the trauma.

I did it with the help of God.

Some of you are probably going through some things as I write, so today, my question is, “what keeps your stars apart and your universe together when you are stressed and how resilient are you in the face of trauma?”.

Life happens, and there are so many situations that we have no control over. You must embrace some tactics to bounce back and not let your self-worth be affected. Resilience is not about being tough and rigid; it is about being flexible and adaptable and having the ability to bounce back from setbacks.

Please know that whatever happened to you or is currently happening is not your whole story; it is just a part of it, and please don’t let anything in life change your worth as a person.

Restoration and healing could be in the form of seeking a higher power – perhaps through prayers, journaling, or therapy. It could be setting boundaries or learning the acts of forgiveness.. whatever it will take, don’t shy away from it…Seek help for healing. I will be here to hold a safe space for you. You truly matter.

Always remember never to allow earthly circumstances to destroy your heavenly commitments, you were created for a purpose, and you carry grace to do exploits. Please carry it well.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Last week, we were in New York City for a few rest days. As usual, as soon as we arrived at our hotel, I googled a restaurant that caters to my homeland’s taste. My hubby and I found one, and we drove down and had an excellent time, the next day, we wanted to try another restaurant with the same catering offers but in a different neighborhood. We got lucky and found one as well, getting to this other restaurant wowed us from the outside; we were already thinking of their meals as we disembarked from our vehicle. The interior was great, and a friendly lady met us at the door, and we promptly ordered our meals – which came to our disappointment. I took three morsels of my favorite dish, and I could not continue. I gently covered the plate, and my hubby tried to eat his as well, but he was not happy.

The woman that attended to us was excellent, and we did not want to show our dissatisfaction and disappointment, so we tipped her when leaving. However, I am sure she would realize we were not happy after we had left, especially when she went to our table to pack up the plates and saw the uneaten food.

The whole situation came back to me when I reflected upon it after getting home, and the Holy Spirit reminded me of how I need to behave sometimes when I am stressed. I was reminded that sometimes, some battles are not worth fighting.

Sometimes in life, when we are in the midst of conflict, let’s focus not on the conflict but on how God wants us to act. Let us choose peace intentionally. For example, I was not happy with the food I was served, but I also decided not to waste my energy in voicing it to the woman, thus making her sad.

A wise person once said that when the dust settles after a heated conflict and it is time to move on, we will leave the situation with a sense of peace, not because things turned out the way we think they should have but because we acted the way we should.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Quebec City – that was where we made our way to this past March Break holiday. As a family, we enjoy traveling and finding new places to go to – pre-pandemic and thank God now – after all the lockdowns – we have just resumed.

So this last month, we traveled to Quebec City and met extraordinary people. They were friendly and very welcoming. The food was terrific and the non-alcoholic wines that I could not get enough of – were out of this world; the cheese and cheese curds were heavenly.

But there was a single act of human kindness that stood out. When we got to our hotel, so many people helped us pack or assisted with our luggage, but a man called Richard – the hotel’s doorman and valet, he stood out and extended a warm hand to us. When it was time for us to leave, we shared our gratitude by blessing him with a small token a day before our departure, and the night before we left, even without our asking or knowledge, Richard put a box of water in our car for our 5-hour trip ahead. He knew he would not meet us again because he was off duty the next day, but Richard showed us the kindness of humankind that is still available.

To the Richards of this world – please don’t stop being kind, don’t ever stop showing us what God looks like on this side of Heaven. I pray that I will continue to emulate Richard’s positive and helpful attitude in all my doings. Why don’t you join me?

Once again, Richard from Quebec City…Merci Beaucoup.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

The five love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, people have different ways they prefer to receive love.

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A few years ago, I was preparing the kids for school; my husband was also upstairs getting ready for work. As I put the finishing touches on one of my kids’ hair in the dining area below, I heard my hubby call out, letting me know that my results had been released.

So you can guess the next question…so Dear..did I pass?

He kept quiet and briefly shared..you passed one part, but you were a few short of some points on the other. I knew immediately I would have to retake the exam. The exam was a 2-part exam, and one needs to pass both parts to be successful in the exam.

Was I disappointed? Oh Yes…but was I also relieved? Yes, because waiting for the result had triggered so much anxiety in me, and I was somewhat glad the waiting was over.

I remembered the day of the exam. I called my husband afterward and sobbed as I had never done, letting him know that I felt I had just written the most challenging exam for the first time in my life, not because I didn’t prepare enough but because I thought the time was not sufficient.

I also remembered a story my father told us while growing up. He shared about his friend. When they wrote their final exams at the university, my father said that he was far from the university campus when the result came out, and his friend wanted to relay the result to him. In those days.. the early 60’s, the fastest means of communication was to send a telegram, which was expensive, and you paid for it by counting the words to be sent. So, his friend sent him one and wrote.

“Jeje. You passed. I failed. His name.”

My father said he was sad when he received the telegram about his friend’s result; however, his friend did the exam again and passed and graduated a year after.

For me, I had to retake the exam. I did it again..even with four kids and working full time. I studied again and passed both parts to the glory of God. My hubby also saw the result first, but this time around, it was him that was anxious..lol and he asked me to check the result, and when I did…I saw the marks displayed on both parts.

I passed.

Are you perhaps wading through a difficult season? Are you contemplating giving up? Please, don’t. Remember that when you think about not making it through, remember how many times you have persevered and the victories from your past experiences, then forge positively ahead. Never forget that when life throws a stone at you, seize the opportunity to step on it to climb higher. Please, don’t give up.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie, Psychotherapy and Counselling Services. Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

I grew up learning from my grandmother and my parents how to be a good child of God. My hubby had always shared that when I met him, the first place I took him for our first outing was the fellowship I attended on the University Campus, but this story is not about me; it is about positive influence and the gift of trust. It is about a friend’s impact on my life that led me closer to God.

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, I was in my dorm room at the University. One of my close friends came and handed me a bulky envelope asking me to help her drop it in the fellowship offering basket as she would not be able to make it to fellowship that night because she had a group assignment to do with her coursemates.

Being one of the ushers, I had to arrive quite early..but as I was walking to fellowship that evening, I suddenly remembered the bulky envelope in my bag and the circumstances of my friend.

My friend had lost her father just a few years back..actually, about 2 or 3 years before that day, she was studying one of the most challenging courses on campus then, and she only had her mother and her younger siblings to fall back on. However, she still committed to paying her tithe monthly.

Here was I, with my two parents and very financially stable, but my tithing was “psychedelic”…I could not fathom the trust she had in God; she even trusted me enough to be able to handle the job…that moment on the sidewalk going to fellowship and pondering on her faith changed something in my heart towards God. What she did drew me closer to knowing who God is. I was not surprised to see my friend graduate and eventually settle down to have her own family; I am not surprised to know she is happy today. I am also grateful that the gift of trust she gave me that day helped strengthen my relationship with God. It woke me up from my slumber and helped to solidify my future as well.

So, today I ask, what are you doing to help solidify people’s relationships with the Lord Almighty? I am still working on mine.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie, Psychotherapy and Counselling Services. Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456