Eighteen years ago, while living in South Africa, I visited a friend’s house with my second child. My friend’s residence was within a gated community, so the security guards asked me to introduce myself before calling her to confirm my visit. Without thinking, I replied as I usually would, “Please tell her it’s Anjie’s mom.” Just moments after I spoke, my six-year-old daughter looked at me and asked, “Mom, why didn’t you say Simi’s mom? You’re my mother, too.”

Those words stung me. She was right – I should have said Simi’s mom, but I was known and called the first by my friends. I immediately apologized to her.

My Nigerian culture dictates that as a mother, you are called by the name of your firstborn. This culture was passed onto some of us, and we accepted it and bore it as a badge of honour. Most of the time, we do not know what this can trigger in some of the children we are raising. 

Some might not be bold enough to ask like my daughter did. 

In therapy sessions, we often inquire about birth order during intake because it sheds light on personality traits, family roles, and life perspectives.

Psychologists researched some of these different family dynamics, and they call it the  “Parental Differential Treatment” or PDT. If care is not taken, it makes one child feel superior to another, sometimes developing into sibling rivalry and giving some children a sense of entitlement over others. In some other children, the middle children or in-between ones or even the last children may feel less loved, and this can further degenerate into mental health problems such as low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. 

That “gate moment” marked—a change in my attitude toward my children.
It highlighted something I hadn’t fully considered: how such a habit could impact my children, potentially leading to feelings of exclusion or resentment in those not named. Up till now, some people still call me Anjie’s mom, but at home, I constantly let all my children know that I love all of them equally. Wherever you may find yourself in the family dynamic—whether feeling like the favoured child or the overlooked one—remember that healing is possible; kindly seek therapy to heal. Therapy can help you work through any past hurts, rebuild self-esteem, and strengthen family bonds.

For parents, it’s essential to pay attention to family dynamics. Encourage unity among your children, foster love between your children, give praise impartially, and consistently show that each child is valued and loved.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

A few years ago, a primary school friend reminded me of how I used to give him some of my exercise books when we were in primary school – a few friends also shared with me how I used to feed them when we were undergraduates and how they relished coming to our house to eat Amala during “ASUU Strike” – I also remembered a few girlfriends that literally moved into my parents house to live with us because they either lost their parents or preferred to stay with me. My parents allowed them to stay with me. I am saying all of these not to draw attention to myself or win accolades…not at all, but to confirm further God’s calling upon my life.

About two decades ago, a senior sister echoed God’s calling upon my life when she prayed for me and shared that I would be like an oak tree for others to take refuge in. That is precisely who I am today.

I am a bonafide child of God, a Christian counsellor, a couples counsellor, and a Registered Psychotherapist who encourages couples to reflect on their decisions when building their marriage. I share different ways and techniques with clients on how not to be afraid to take up new challenges and to embrace new beginnings happily—thus the name of my practice, New Beginnings Barrie Psychotherapy and Counselling.

So, as I reflect on many things that led me to who I am today, I encourage you to do the same. Who are you presently? Are you bringing joy into people’s lives? Are you doing what you are called to be doing? Have you seen telltale signs of what your future may look like? I head off to bed almost every night with joy and smiles because I see people whose lives are much better just with a prayer to God, a few words of encouragement or a couple of techniques from different modalities I share with them to make them feel better.

If you need to learn more about yourself or feel you need to be more fulfilled in life, then reach out to someone who can mentor you or help you find your niche or calling; I will be here waiting to assist you—after all, I was born to do this.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Dear Client,

We hope this message finds you well. We are pleased to inform you of an important update regarding the billing for our counselling and psychotherapy services.

On June 20, 2024, the news came that federal legislation to exempt registered psychotherapists’ services from Harmonized Sales Tax (HST) received its royal assent. This change comes as part of recent legislative adjustments aimed at making mental health services more accessible and affordable. As a result, HST will no longer be applicable to our counselling and psychotherapy fees.

What This Means for You:

Updated Invoices:
Beginning immediately, all invoices for counselling and psychotherapy services will no longer include the HST. This will be indicated on your billing statements.

Reduced Costs:
The elimination of HST on our services means you will see a reduction in the overall cost of your sessions. The base rate for our services will be as follows:
Individual Session: $160
Couple/Family: $180

Account Statements:
Any outstanding invoices issued before June 20, 2024 that included HST will remain unchanged, and payments should be made as per the original terms. Future invoices will be issued without HST.

Reason for the Change:
This legislative change is part of a broader effort to support mental health by reducing financial barriers for those seeking psychotherapy. We welcome this adjustment and are committed to passing these benefits directly to you.

Questions and Support:
We understand that changes in billing practices can raise questions. Our team is here to provide any assistance regarding this update. Please do not hesitate to contact us at 705241856 or via email at newbeginningsbarrie@gmail.com with any inquiries.

We appreciate your continued trust in our services and look forward to supporting your mental health and well-being under these new guidelines.

Warm regards,
Ibukun Ogunsina
Practice Director
New Beginnings Barrie
MACP, MIT, B.Sc (Hons)
Registered Psychotherapist / Christian Counsellor
Suite 307
190 Cundles Road East
Contact No: 7052418456

Home to me for a very long time was my parent’s abode, the SW8/11.. address where I grew up in the heart of a city known as Ibadan; home was a place where I felt most comfortable, loved, sheltered and protected – it was a place of peace, a place of connection, a place of refuge where I could run to find solace amidst the storms of life then as a teenager or a University student. 

Sometimes, all it took was for me to call home from school, and Daddy would pick up the phone, calm me down, and say a prayer over me, or Mummy would send her driver laden with food to my school the next day. Hmm…. Home was where my identity was, and my parents had my back and would always run to my aid.

My hubby and I are also trying to redefine home in our language. Upon getting married, we began creating an ideal home for our children to grow up in, showcasing, praying together, and encouraging them always to come whenever needed. Home is our haven. 

Sometimes, when the phone rings and one of our children wants us to pray for them or send us a Whatsapp message to calm their anxieties, it takes me back to my home while growing up. We then gently redirect our children to God through prayers, reminding them that the temporary home is us, but the actual home is God.

Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of life, bouts of ailments, amidst the chaos of schedules, exam deadlines, and work timelines, many of us find ourselves longing for a sense of belonging; we deeply yearn for home in times of need, our hearts are wired for connection, both with one another and with something greater than ourselves, we want that connection with someone that can pray or assist us or truly get us, and thus my message today is to remind you that our true home is not merely a physical place, nor your postal address, nor your parents, nor your partner but a state of being—a place of communion with God.

So, as we journey through life, let us remember that our true home is not found in the fleeting pleasures of this world but in God’s eternal love. Let us seek His presence with all our hearts, knowing we find our ultimate fulfillment and most profound sense of belonging in Him. For in God alone do our restless hearts find rest and peace; in His presence, we see our true home.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Every love story has a beginning, and as a couples therapist, I encourage my clients to set time aside intentionally and reminisce about the early days of their relationships; I let them know that refreshing their memories of how they began their marital journeys together will spur them into appreciating each other better and loving each other more. In the spirit of doing this…I share my personal story, and I hope it brightens your day.

The first time my hubby and I met was simply an encounter at a campus clinic where I thought I had an ailment but came back not to be. We chatted briefly; no contact exchanges were made, but as my hubby would say, I left a powerful impression on him, and he could not stop thinking about me after that first meeting.

The second time was at a church and in another town about 80km from the clinic, where even though I had attended the church for years and he had done likewise, we never met until that fateful Sunday. We recognized each other and remembered we had met six months prior in another town. Still, nothing was exchanged but mere pleasantries, but that day, I recalled I was shocked to see him, and I asked him a simple question upon seeing him…I said where is your wife? I knew that he was already working as a Doctor and thus should be married and attending the service with his wife…till today, my hubby jokes that I was merely sizing him up.

The third time was in front of a bank on the campus where we met the first time, but this time around, my hubby asked for my room number and made sure he visited me that evening, and as they say, the rest is history, and our first romantic date was at our campus fellowship. lol

Today, I thank God for not letting us both miss a lifetime opportunity. God orchestrated that we meet three times, and I know if he had not asked for my room number the third time, my God would have created a fourth chance. Today, I serve God unashamedly because of His undying love for me.

As you and your spouse reflect on how far you have been together, then commit to loving each other more. Revisiting romantic moments or significant events in your relationship will reignite the sparks and also help reinforce the sense of a shared history. Sharing stories and reliving those moments can also aid in bringing back the excitement and romance that may have faded over time.

So..tonight…go down memory lane together.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Dear Client,

Happy New Year! We hope this message finds you in good health and high spirits as we welcome the promising year ahead. As we embark on this journey into 2024, we want to express our gratitude for allowing us to join your therapeutic journey.

As we enter the new year, we are excited to share some positive changes to enhance your experience with New Beginnings Barrie. Our commitment to providing high-quality care remains steadfast, and these updates are designed to support your well-being better.

1. Enhanced Accessibility:
In our ongoing efforts to make therapy more accessible, we have implemented virtual credit card accessibility and online intake forms as well. This is aimed at providing you with greater flexibility and convenience.

2. Team Expansion:
To ensure we continue to offer you the best care possible, we have welcomed new members to our talented team of therapists. Each team member brings unique skills and perspectives, enriching the variety of approaches available.

A final note on fee adjustment. Remember that our new fees, which are HST inclusive, have kicked in now, as displayed below.
Individual: $180 per session
Couples /Family: $200 per session
Our email address for e-transfer remains newbeginningsbarrie@gmail.com

Thank you for entrusting us with your therapeutic journey. We look forward to another year of growth, support, and positive transformations together.

We wish you a year filled with joy, resilience, and personal triumphs!

Warm regards,
Ibukun Ogunsina
Registered Psychotherapist and Christian Counsellor
New Beginnings Barrie Psychotherapy and Counselling.
www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
705 241 8456

My sweet husband took this picture. I was aware when he took it, but I never knew the impact the photo would eventually have on me. That day was the first day of my mother’s funeral event, and I was climbing the stairs to my parent’s home.

Only if the walls or stairs could talk, growing up – I had an excellent time and was spoiled a little bit by my parents; however, there was a period when my parents repeatedly lost a series of people in their lives. My two Aunties, an Uncle and a young cousin, died a few years apart, and as a teenager, I remember it was a time that made me so sad and upset. There was a time I was even ashamed to tell my friends about the losses. The pain of losing a loved one is real; however, the long-lasting negative impact could be devastating when it is more than once.

While growing up, I used to struggle with trust issues because I grew up not having healed from those losses. I refused to believe that people will be in one’s life forever, and that transcended to other things in my life. As a therapist, I started to work on myself; I engaged in a lot of self-correction and self-healing because I could see the trauma reflected in some of my decisions. Yes, I pray and fast, but I am still human. Am I completely healed? Almost but I am still a work in progress, and God is still busy healing me and letting me know that I can fully trust Him to recover from the pains of the past.

What is that trauma that you were exposed to? Could it be generational trauma that you can still see manifesting in some areas of your life? It could be acute, chronic or complex. For example, you might have been bullied as a kid or lost a few loved ones as I did, or been physically abused. Whatever you have been through, please, reach out for assistance. Some great trauma-informed therapists can fully assist you in being healed.

Back to the picture, that smile on my face says a lot; it tells of that girl who has received the loving support of various beings, from God to my husband to therapists like me and my loved ones. So please don’t suffer alone. Life is beautiful… let’s smile together.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

An incident occurred sometime last year, and it made me so sad and upset. It affected my self-esteem, and of course, I was bothered that I must have lost my sense of self-worth. However, as a psychotherapist, I had to practice what I preach. I had to embrace many relaxation techniques, positive words of affirmation, healing work, and spirituality. All of these helped restore healing, and I was able to bounce back from the trauma.

I did it with the help of God.

Some of you are probably going through some things as I write, so today, my question is, “what keeps your stars apart and your universe together when you are stressed and how resilient are you in the face of trauma?”.

Life happens, and there are so many situations that we have no control over. You must embrace some tactics to bounce back and not let your self-worth be affected. Resilience is not about being tough and rigid; it is about being flexible and adaptable and having the ability to bounce back from setbacks.

Please know that whatever happened to you or is currently happening is not your whole story; it is just a part of it, and please don’t let anything in life change your worth as a person.

Restoration and healing could be in the form of seeking a higher power – perhaps through prayers, journaling, or therapy. It could be setting boundaries or learning the acts of forgiveness.. whatever it will take, don’t shy away from it…Seek help for healing. I will be here to hold a safe space for you. You truly matter.

Always remember never to allow earthly circumstances to destroy your heavenly commitments, you were created for a purpose, and you carry grace to do exploits. Please carry it well.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Last week, we were in New York City for a few rest days. As usual, as soon as we arrived at our hotel, I googled a restaurant that caters to my homeland’s taste. My hubby and I found one, and we drove down and had an excellent time, the next day, we wanted to try another restaurant with the same catering offers but in a different neighborhood. We got lucky and found one as well, getting to this other restaurant wowed us from the outside; we were already thinking of their meals as we disembarked from our vehicle. The interior was great, and a friendly lady met us at the door, and we promptly ordered our meals – which came to our disappointment. I took three morsels of my favorite dish, and I could not continue. I gently covered the plate, and my hubby tried to eat his as well, but he was not happy.

The woman that attended to us was excellent, and we did not want to show our dissatisfaction and disappointment, so we tipped her when leaving. However, I am sure she would realize we were not happy after we had left, especially when she went to our table to pack up the plates and saw the uneaten food.

The whole situation came back to me when I reflected upon it after getting home, and the Holy Spirit reminded me of how I need to behave sometimes when I am stressed. I was reminded that sometimes, some battles are not worth fighting.

Sometimes in life, when we are in the midst of conflict, let’s focus not on the conflict but on how God wants us to act. Let us choose peace intentionally. For example, I was not happy with the food I was served, but I also decided not to waste my energy in voicing it to the woman, thus making her sad.

A wise person once said that when the dust settles after a heated conflict and it is time to move on, we will leave the situation with a sense of peace, not because things turned out the way we think they should have but because we acted the way we should.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456