I could not take my eyes off them, they were practically drooling all over each other, the gentleman was lovingly holding onto the woman’s hands, and right there in the middle of the street, these lovebirds were hugging and kissing at every slightest moment. It felt like a script straight from a love novel. You know the kind of love Richard Gere had for Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. They both seemed forever happy.
I wonder if they do fight about who will take the kids to the next soccer practice or who will load the next dishwasher, do they even argue at all? They seemed so perfectly in love.
So many questions went through my mind just by looking at them but having been married for over two decades and being a Couples Therapist, I know that conflict is indeed a part of relationships in general, once in a while conflict will rear its ugly head even in this seemingly perfect relationship.
Murray Bowen shares that unfinished emotional business sometimes stays with us, making us vulnerable to repeat conflicts we never worked out with our families. So, in short, fights are inevitable in a relationship, sometimes, some baggage of conflicts that we checked into our marriage with us, or new patterns of behaviour that our partners are not comfortable with, peradventure, right there in the midst of our lovey-dovey lives, some conflicts will erupt like volcanoes but then do we fight fair?
How do you resolve conflicts in your relationships constructively and not destructively? How do you forgive and start over again? How can you learn to listen attentively to respond and not to react? And finally, how do you both learn to love and trust again?
If you are struggling in your relationship or conflicts seem to be the norm nowadays in your relationship, and you will like to be assisted in learning how to identify the different attachment struggles in your relationship, perhaps you want to know how to speak to each other in love amidst the anger or how to facilitate better ways of relating lovingly to each other. Then call on us at New Beginnings Barrie, and we will be glad to walk the journey with you and your spouse.
Written by Ibukun Ogunsina, New Beginnings Barrie, Psychotherapy and Counselling services. Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456
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