Sonder: A Reminder That Every Heart Is Carrying Something

My son and I were getting ready to head to the airport for a special event in another province. My husband had gone ahead of us a few days earlier, and we were to meet him later. With a teenager glued to his phone, I had already called an Uber, and the app confirmed that the driver would arrive in a few minutes. Suddenly, I asked my son if he had remembered to pack his shoes. Trust him to forget—and all hell broke loose!  After a few frantic moments, we somehow managed to make it out of the house on time.

As soon as we settled into the Uber, the driver greeted us warmly. He began talking to a family member on the phone, and although the car was quiet, I could only catch bits and pieces of the conversation. Eventually, after a few minutes, the driver apologized and explained that his father had passed away the day before. I expressed my condolences.

In that moment, I experienced what is called sonder. My son, ever curious, gave me the full definition—the realization that every person you encounter has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Before meeting this man, my morning already felt chaotic. Yet his day—his life—at that moment was even heavier. For those few minutes, our paths crossed: two strangers connected by shared humanity. He offered my son some brotherly advice, and I found myself comforting him amid his loss.

That encounter reminded me that sometimes, we think our lives are a mess—until we hear someone else’s story. Let’s try to smile at strangers and offer kindness when we can. We never know when we might be someone’s lifeline.

Also, sometimes we may feel our burdens are too heavy and that the Lord has forgotten us. But when we hear others’ stories, we realize there is always room to be grateful. We just need to wait for God’s right timing—because He never fails.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456