I recently stumbled upon a picture of myself at about 13 years old. It reminded me of a technique I often share with my clients: writing a letter to the younger version of themselves—the little girl or boy they used to be. I encourage them to show that younger self love, to celebrate how far they’ve come, to express pride in who they are becoming, and to name the milestones they’ve achieved. This practice fosters positivity, boosts self-esteem, helps bring closure to unresolved issues, and offers insight into who they are now and who they are becoming.

So, here’s my own letter…

My Dear 13-year-old Ibukun,

Looking at that picture in front of my parents’ house in Ibadan, Nigeria. I see your bright smile, your round cheeks, and the way you always struggled to keep your eyes fully open in photos—you still do, by the way. But more than that, I feel the peace that came from the solid foundation your parents gave you. You’re wearing that green flowery dress Mum bought with her teacher’s salary—and I still remember that a few months later, it was stolen… lol.

The second picture shows who I am now, forty years later, on the balcony of a beautiful hotel in Santorini, Greece. Truly, the Lord has been good. The smile is still there, but Ibukun, you’ve been through so much. That smile now comes from your security in God. Your parents are gone, you’ve lived in several countries, built your own family, failed and passed exams, been healed of many ailments, learned to be a parent and a virtuous wife..yes o! changed careers, and found your footing again and again.

If I could tell that 13-year-old girl anything, it would be this: Don’t lose your smile. Keep your round cheeks. And most importantly, seek deeper roots in God. There will come a time when you miss your parents deeply, but God will surround you with people who love and care for you—especially your spouse and children—and you’ll continue to encourage others along the way.

I could write much more, but I hope this encourages you—and everyone reading—to reflect with gratitude. Find an old picture of yourself, place it beside who you are now, and lift your eyes to God in praise for keeping you alive and standing. Replace regret with gratitude, and you will experience His all-encompassing peace throughout this year.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

My son and I were getting ready to head to the airport for a special event in another province. My husband had gone ahead of us a few days earlier, and we were to meet him later. With a teenager glued to his phone, I had already called an Uber, and the app confirmed that the driver would arrive in a few minutes. Suddenly, I asked my son if he had remembered to pack his shoes. Trust him to forget—and all hell broke loose!  After a few frantic moments, we somehow managed to make it out of the house on time.

As soon as we settled into the Uber, the driver greeted us warmly. He began talking to a family member on the phone, and although the car was quiet, I could only catch bits and pieces of the conversation. Eventually, after a few minutes, the driver apologized and explained that his father had passed away the day before. I expressed my condolences.

In that moment, I experienced what is called sonder. My son, ever curious, gave me the full definition—the realization that every person you encounter has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Before meeting this man, my morning already felt chaotic. Yet his day—his life—at that moment was even heavier. For those few minutes, our paths crossed: two strangers connected by shared humanity. He offered my son some brotherly advice, and I found myself comforting him amid his loss.

That encounter reminded me that sometimes, we think our lives are a mess—until we hear someone else’s story. Let’s try to smile at strangers and offer kindness when we can. We never know when we might be someone’s lifeline.

Also, sometimes we may feel our burdens are too heavy and that the Lord has forgotten us. But when we hear others’ stories, we realize there is always room to be grateful. We just need to wait for God’s right timing—because He never fails.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

I recently called an old friend to check in. We were undergraduates together over three decades ago, and even though we live in different countries now, we still make time to chat. During our conversation, she shared a joyful reminder: her only daughter, who was with her, is named after me. She asked if I remembered, and I smiled, “Of course I do.”

After hanging up, I reflected on her choice. Naming her daughter after me made me realize that, back in our university days, I must have carried my name well. I’ve always said — sometimes in jest, sometimes in earnest — that my name holds a Bible verse, Proverbs 10:22. My name, Ibukunoluwa, means “The Blessing of God” in English.

Over the years, I’ve come to wear my name like a badge of honour. It distinguishes me, reminds me of purpose, and acts as a daily prayer I carry with me.

Where I come from, a name is powerful. People pray that your name will be listed among the successful. It’s more than a label — it carries hopes, blessings, and legacy.

In my work as a therapist, I sometimes ask clients to share the meaning behind their names. Watching them speak with pride and joy is a beautiful reminder of how deeply a name is tied to identity and purpose.

Your name is more than identification — it’s an anchor for emotional stability. Affirming your name, understanding its meaning, and embracing it aloud can be a quiet but powerful act of self-love.

So I ask you today: Are you proud of your name? Does it bring you joy and confidence? Do you affirm it with your life? Do you know the meaning of your name? Take a moment to fully embrace your name. Speak it into existence. Let it carry blessing, abundance, and joy wherever you go.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Lately, every Sunday, my niece checks in with me. She usually sends a text, and I respond with a summary of how my week went. But one of our recent conversations got me thinking and inspired me to write this message today.

I had sent her a “before and after” picture of myself from an Owanbe party — the first photo with my simple look before the event, and the second after my gele was tied. I told her that tying a gele at a Nigerian party costs $25, but trust me, it makes you look like a million dollars! Later, as I looked at those pictures again, I found myself reflecting deeply.

Many of us love the “after.” We love the finished product — the breakthrough, the testimony, the answered prayer. We focus so much on that stage that when we pray, we often become impatient. We forget, as someone once said, that between the prayer and the answer, there is a waiting period. And in that waiting period, there is faith.

Think about it: I have to part with $25 just to get my gele tied. Sometimes, I pray that the gele stylist arrives before the event starts. Other times, I hope there won’t be a long queue. Most times, I even pray that the style I love will be available.

That’s exactly how life is. We pray for situations to change — for promotion, exam success, a relationship, or relocation. But then comes the waiting period, and it’s not always easy. Waiting can be hard. It can fill us with anxiety and doubt. There are moments we might even start to wonder, Maybe it’s not going to happen.

But in those moments, remember this: God is strengthening you in the waiting. Hold on to faith and keep your eyes fixed on the promise. Visualize the answered prayer and what it will look like when it comes to pass. And if the wait seems longer than you expected, please don’t give up. Delay does not mean denial.

Look forward to the day you will testify — the day you will tell your story and say, “It took a while, but God did it.”

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

This past summer, my husband, our son, and I travelled to Italy for a short vacation. We soaked in the beauty of the Vatican in Rome, enjoyed cozy dinners under the Tuscan skies in Florence, and looked forward to wrapping up our trip in Venice. Just as we were about to begin that final leg, news broke that Air Canada had gone on strike. Since our tickets were with them, we kept following the updates closely. I prayed and told my husband, “I’m trusting God for a last-minute miracle—that somehow the strike will be called off before we fly back.”

So, we chose to enjoy our remaining days in Venice. We even checked in online and paid for our luggage, hopeful that all would work out. But on the morning of our departure, I woke up early to find an email saying our flight had been cancelled and that we needed to make other plans. My heart sank. I woke my husband, and together we scrambled to find new tickets. By God’s grace, we did—but at twice the original cost.

Through all the stress and searching, our teenage son was peacefully asleep, completely unbothered. When we finally woke him and told him it was time to get ready for the airport, his only question was, “What’s the plan?” My husband and I looked at each other, and it hit us—this is the kind of peace God invites us into. Our son wasn’t worried; he simply trusted that his parents would take care of everything and get him back home safely. That’s the childlike trust and faith we are called to have in our Heavenly Father.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t help worrying—not only about getting home, but also about whether Air Canada would ever refund us. With the new tickets came unexpected expenses—an extra hotel night, ground transportation, meals—all piling up. But just a few days after we returned to Canada, Air Canada announced an expanded goodwill policy. To my amazement, they agreed to refund not only the new tickets but also those extra costs.

That moment was such a gentle reminder: I need to lean on God more deeply. I prayed, and He answered—but in His own way, not mine.

I don’t know what unexpected turn you might be facing right now, but I want to encourage you: when you pray and place the outcome in God’s hands, you can rest like a child who knows their Father has everything under control. He never fails. Truly, it will be well.

Faith isn’t about controlling the outcome, but about trusting the One who does.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

This past weekend was challenging for us in Barrie and the Simcoe Muskoka region. We experienced a heavy downpour of icy rain, leaving us without electricity for several hours. Even as I write, some areas are still in the dark. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to see the electric pole behind our house sparking and exploding. Moments later, the entire neighbourhood was plunged into darkness, and for hours, we could hear trees snapping under the weight of the ice.

With no electricity at home, later in the day, we drove around in search of a restaurant to eat and saw the aftermath—fallen trees blocking roads, cars dented, shrubs displaced by the wind, and damage all around.

Yet, amid the destruction, something caught my attention—the icicles. These delicate, almost heavenly-looking formations were the very culprits behind the chaos. They appeared so small and harmless and even beautiful with a sight to behold, yet they carried the power to bring down trees, damage homes, and disrupt lives.

It made me reflect on the seemingly harmless things in life that, when left unchecked, can slowly lead us astray. That extra scoop of ice cream that spikes my blood sugar. That late-night coffee that robs me of restful sleep. Even the innocent distractions—watching one more episode of my favourite Mexican movie, scrolling a little longer on instagram, reaching for my phone instead of my devotional first in the morning. They may seem insignificant, but over time, they can take me further from the things that truly matter.

Today, as we continue to clear away fallen branches and debris in Barrie and its environs, perhaps it’s also time for an internal cleanup. What “harmless” things have quietly stolen your time, energy, or focus? Let’s take a moment to reflect and realign.

A big thanks to our friends who checked in on us. We also pray for those affected by this devastation. 🙏🏽

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Indeed, life’s challenges can either break us or make us stronger. I have walked through dark valleys, moments where I almost didn’t make it—but God had other plans. Now, I’m sharing my journey of resilience at this event.

If you’ve faced struggles or need motivation to keep pushing forward, join us for an inspiring gathering of women sharing their stories of hope.

God’s got us all.

Hello Family,

I am honoured to have been invited to share my personal experience on perimenopause and menopause at the upcoming event (details attached below) on Saturday, February 22nd, at 4 PM, hosted at Evangel Bethel Church in Toronto.

I sincerely appreciate your prayers as I prepare for this meaningful discussion, and I invite those in the GTA and surrounding areas to come out and support. It would be a joy to see you there!

I look forward to sharing from the depths of my heart, trusting that God’s name will be glorified mightily. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.

Blessings,
Ibukun Ogunsina

As someone who thrives on entertaining and creating joy-filled moments, I’ve always found comfort in setting tables laden with food, welcoming friends, and sharing stories. I’m not the world’s best cook, but when I prepare meals for my guests or order something special, it brings me immense happiness to see people gather, connect, and leave with memories that warm their hearts. This past festive season, I felt fatigued physically and in a way that seeped into my mood and spirit. Despite the anticipation of having friends over, I struggled to feel the joy I usually would. 

It took some introspection to realize that my exhaustion was more than the typical holiday rush. As I reflected on my symptoms—mood swings and fatigue, it became clear: I was likely experiencing a new phase of life, full menopause. This realization brought a mix of emotions, but most importantly, it brought clarity.

When it dawned on me that menopause might be the root of my struggles, I turned to God for wisdom and healing. I prayed for strength and insight. But I also recognized the need for practical steps.

A Journey Toward Healing and Wisdom
While I’m still on the mend, this experience has inspired me to share a message with my fellow sisters and relatives: as we age and move from one phase of life to the next, we must keep an eye on our health. Menopause is a natural transition, but it deserves our attention and care.

Recognizing the Signs and Taking Action
If you notice changes in your body—mood swings, hot flashes, weight gain, decreased libido, fatigue, memory lapses, or difficulty concentrating—don’t brush them aside. These could be signs of peri-menopause or menopause, and they’re not your fault. Your body is undergoing natural changes as estrogen levels decrease, and seeking help is okay.

Praying about these challenges is important, but it’s equally essential to consult a doctor or therapist who can guide you toward practical solutions. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “There is wisdom in the multitude of counsel.” Seeking medical advice or therapy isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a step toward empowerment and well-being.

Supporting Each Other Through Life’s Phases
This year, I encourage all of us to be more intentional about our health and to support one another through life’s transitions. Let’s normalize conversations about menopause and aging. Share your experiences, ask questions, and remember you’re not alone. Strangers are friends not yet met, and together, we can create a community where every woman feels heard, understood, and uplifted.

Moving Forward With Joy
As I work toward recovery and regaining my joyful spirit, I’m reminded that life is a series of phases, each bringing lessons and opportunities. By listening to our bodies, seeking counsel, and embracing change with faith and courage, we can navigate these transitions and find renewed strength.

So, let’s step into this year with hope, awareness, and a commitment to care for ourselves and each other. Together, we can live fully and joyfully, no matter the season of life.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456

Eighteen years ago, while living in South Africa, I visited a friend’s house with my second child. My friend’s residence was within a gated community, so the security guards asked me to introduce myself before calling her to confirm my visit. Without thinking, I replied as I usually would, “Please tell her it’s Anjie’s mom.” Just moments after I spoke, my six-year-old daughter looked at me and asked, “Mom, why didn’t you say Simi’s mom? You’re my mother, too.”

Those words stung me. She was right – I should have said Simi’s mom, but I was known and called the first by my friends. I immediately apologized to her.

My Nigerian culture dictates that as a mother, you are called by the name of your firstborn. This culture was passed onto some of us, and we accepted it and bore it as a badge of honour. Most of the time, we do not know what this can trigger in some of the children we are raising. 

Some might not be bold enough to ask like my daughter did. 

In therapy sessions, we often inquire about birth order during intake because it sheds light on personality traits, family roles, and life perspectives.

Psychologists researched some of these different family dynamics, and they call it the  “Parental Differential Treatment” or PDT. If care is not taken, it makes one child feel superior to another, sometimes developing into sibling rivalry and giving some children a sense of entitlement over others. In some other children, the middle children or in-between ones or even the last children may feel less loved, and this can further degenerate into mental health problems such as low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. 

That “gate moment” marked—a change in my attitude toward my children.
It highlighted something I hadn’t fully considered: how such a habit could impact my children, potentially leading to feelings of exclusion or resentment in those not named. Up till now, some people still call me Anjie’s mom, but at home, I constantly let all my children know that I love all of them equally. Wherever you may find yourself in the family dynamic—whether feeling like the favoured child or the overlooked one—remember that healing is possible; kindly seek therapy to heal. Therapy can help you work through any past hurts, rebuild self-esteem, and strengthen family bonds.

For parents, it’s essential to pay attention to family dynamics. Encourage unity among your children, foster love between your children, give praise impartially, and consistently show that each child is valued and loved.

Written by Ibukun Ogunsina,
New Beginnings Barrie,
Psychotherapy and Counselling Services.
Website: www.newbeginningsbarrie.com
E-mail: inquiry@newbeginningsbarrie.com
Tel: +1 705 241 8456